Thursday, January 6, 2011

looking forward

(an email that I recieved... it's good)

IT WAS A TOUGH YEAR BUT I MADE IT!


But not everyone is as fortunate as I am.......

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.



HAVE A FANTASTIC 2011

2 comments:

Karen T said...

So funny!

Kathleen said...

I read these to my class and to my family. My class didn't get some of them, understandably, but they laughed anyway. Scott and Alayna thought they were pretty funny, though. Thanks for making us laugh.