knee drama trauma

As a preface:  I have been having trouble with my left knee since the very first week of July.  The pain and "slipping" out of place has consistently happened when I went down into a squatting position.  When it happened, it would slip, I would scream and immediately cry...the real shed tears kind of cry, because of the intensity of the pain.  I would then try to calm myself, taking deep breaths, all the while bracing my knee with both hands, and ever so slightly trying to manipulate it with little nudges, prompting it to slip back into place.  This would take anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes.  And, all the while, an endurance of pain was going on that is indescribable to anyone who has never known knee pain. I do not wish it upon anyone. As soon as I could get it back into position, the pain would subside pretty immediately, and I was only left with a slight ache that would last a few days.  This same scenario, beginning the first part of July, happened to me six different times...and then...the seventh... 

So...although I don't normally work on Fridays, I went in for a partial day last week to catch up because I had missed the whole week previous due to our family reunion.  Mijken was ever so kind (as usual) to take Dare for me that day so that I could work.  My final appointment was my mom nails, and the agreement was that Mij would meet me at my studio and bring Dare to me.  While she was there I would wax her brows.  So, Friday afternoon while finishing up with my mom's nail appointment, Mijken and Dare arrived.  We were just chatting while I was cleaning up, and in the middle of my tasking away, I knelt down into a squatting position to grab something...and my knee gave out. Again. This time it was different.  Very different.  Forget the 30 seconds to 2 minutes of pain before slipping back into place.  That knee had had enough, and was not budging.  I was crying like a baby, and SOO glad that it was my family there to witness, and not a client.  I would have been so embarrassed.  My mom and sister were beside themselves, not knowing what to do for me, and I was on the floor pleading with my knee to "just slip back into position like always in the past"  After about 30 minutes of this drama, they were finally, very delicately,  able to help me into my chair on wheels, and wheel me out to my car and take me to the Instacare.  I thought for sure if I could just see a Dr. who knew the anatomy of the knee, he could help me manipulate it properly, and get it back into place.  Ryan was called.  He left his friends on the golf course and rushed to meet me.  Mijken and mom handled Dare for me.  I really had no idea what was going on.  My mind was in such a place of trauma; I was so fortunate I had my family there.

To make a really long saga a bit shorter... it ended up that there was no way in hell that the Instacare Doc was going to be able to help.  I couldn't stand to even be touched.  There was not a chance that he could manipulate it.  I was sent to the IMC ER.  That visit took almost 8 hours, and in the end, after HEAVY doses of IV pain meds, I still had no relief. The drugs just made me sleepy, but no pain was alleviated.  The ER Dr was at a loss as how to help.  I was sent home in an immobilizer brace, with a prescription for pain pills, and ibuprofen, and orders to see an orthopedic surgeon ASAP.  It was assumed that I had a bucket handle tear of my meniscus.  I spent a lot of time in excruciating pain in bed the rest of that night, and into mid day on Saturday.  With the help of many loved ones praying for me, and 2 wonderful women who are dear friends of mine, that did a dedicated healing meditation directed solely for me, my body, and joints...  the release finally happened.  The residual pain was much worse, but the intensity was gone, and I could finally bend my knee and walk again.  It was still very inevitable that an  immediate visit to an orthopedic Dr was a must! 

  Upon seeing Dr. Pepper on Monday morning (no kidding, that is his first name...he is a good friend of the Bailey Family), the diagnosis was confirmed, and surgery was scheduled for the next day.  No messing around on this!

 So, although it is the hardest thing for me to do, I have been resting, elevating my knee, and icing around the clock.  I am amazed at how low my pain level has been, and at how much less fearful I am to walk and move around now that I am post surgery.  I was so nervous to make any small move before, as I was not ever wanting to experience that pain level EVER again!  I am grateful for Ryan.  He has helped me so much, been so patient and understanding, and has tried his best to help me not be anxious about my work schedule.  Because I am.  I hate rearranging appointments and putting people on hold.  It just is not my style. Especially when it is not one, it is like 20! My clients have been so loving and understanding, and for that I am truly blessed.  I am on mandatory bed-rest til tomorrows end, and then after that, it is up to me and my level of tolerance, as to what kind of activity I engage in...  I am fully intending on taking appointments Friday, to catch up as much as I can from missing Tues-Wed.  I am fortunate in that Thursday is a holiday here in Utah, so I was not booked out that day.

 Dare has been a little helper in his own way, giving mama lots of kisses, and love pats.  He is such a sweetie.  He is also going up to Dad's garden every evening when he gets home from Miss Nannies, and "helping" his daddy with the watering...he usually comes inside soaking wet and happy as a clam!

What this experience has taught me?

• Putting off pain and ignoring symptoms does no one any favors. 

• The blessing of family is something to not be taken for granted, instead, recognized daily...with a grateful heart

• I have the most amazing friends and clients (whom are all considered friends), and for that I am so very blessed

• Andrea's homemade lasagna is truly amazing. As is she, which I already knew, but am even that much more grateful for her friendship and genuine care.  It was nice to have a good dinner last night, after fasting half the day. 

• I have known since age 15 when I tore my Rt ACL that my knees are the weakest link in my anatomy.  After reconstructive surgery, my Dr at that time told me this.  But, my level of awareness, care, and use of caution while doing every day tasks will be even that much more heightened.

• Not exercising regularly is NOT a good idea.  I need to start that back up again to strengthen the muscle tone and the support around my knees. 

•  I love my husband more than ever.