anew

I was reading a post on a random website this morning, and what she said rang so true to ME that I felt as if she had written this for me.  I hope she does not mind that I use her words.  I will give her credit... HERE...

 

"I will say that 2013 was a great year for recognizing more that weaknesses are really secret strengths. When I am aware of my weaknesses--the things I've spent years wishing I could change about myself--and embrace them without being defensive, I can find ways to use them for good.

Growing older is always a journey of becoming a better version of yourself--a journey that will and must include both happy moments and hard moments.  It's how you weave them together, drawing lessons from both, that gives you the power of creating a beautiful life."

 

After I read that, it caused me to pause and really think about how much better off I am right now, than I was a year ago.  And, outside of the arrival of baby Dare, none of that has anything to do with a tangible object, a person, or an event.  It is all about personal growth and learning. That is where I find most satisfaction and joy.  Knowing that I have better understood something about myself, on a deeper level, and gotten out of my own way so that I can see me for me, and others for who they really are...  this equates to more personal happiness.  I see it as a stepping stone to deeper inner strength.  To more outward compassion and love.  To more time spent on "pause", then "move forward".  To a stronger desire to really know and understand others.  To the knowledge that EVERY encounter matters, as it may be the last.  To a huge appreciation for wisdom in so many around me, and a desire to know it.  To humility.

 

The water calls for my husband.  It is his solace.  It is what he is drawn to, and what calls peace inside of him. It is where he feels most whole.  It is in the moments that I spend with him right on the water, that I see him most rested and calm.  Physically, mentally, spiritually. 

 

Although the water does not call for me like it does for him, the sunshine that is usually there with it does.  And, once the sun, the fresh sea air, and the wind are on my face, I look toward the ocean and I am sucked in. I love that it never ends.  I love the energy of it, the strength of it, and the feeling of cleansing that it provides.  I love that for me, the ocean represents forgiveness.  Each mark in the sand, each blemish made, is soon washed away, and with no judgement, as if it were never there. It represents consistency. Always there. Always.  That is what the water is to me.  A cleanser, a purifier, a teacher. 

 

But, for both of us, it heals our souls.  And for that, I long for, and I love the moments when we can be at the ocean together. 

 

So, in this new year, I approach with more humility for what really IS, a desire for continual growth and learning, and a stronger propensity to see and feel outside of self.

 

 

 

Our friend Andra took the above photo in Hawaii this new year.  In it I see cleansing, renewal, hope for more,  bright possibilities ahead, and forgiveness.