memories

18 February 2006.... 3 years later...

When I think of Stan there are so many little things that come to mind. Little flashes of memories that over time my heart has taken thousands of pictures of. He loved his late night snacks and because I spent so much time over at their home, I often would see him in the kitchen late at night dunking his oreos, or munching on popcorn, or scooping up a bowl of ice cream. I always knew he was eating because I could HEAR his smacking. It always cracked me up. He never forgot to offer some to anyone who was close by though, a sign of his never-ending generosity. In everything he did, he thought of others first. He was a true example of selflessness. I remember all the times he would come home from work or school or a trip and be so excited to share a story, something that had happened to him while he was away, and with all his animation, excitement, and amazing story telling abilities, he would share his experience. He was so descriptive, not only with words, but with body language and motions, I felt I had been there by his side because I could just see the event unfold as he spoke. Stan was so good at seeing the positive in everything. He rarely spoke ill of someone, and if he did, he was quick to apologize or take back what was said. He was so easy to talk to, and so genuine in what he said. He had great advice and was always in tune with what a person needed to hear, and what he needed to share with them. I never doubted that Stan loved me, not only did he show me through his actions, but he told me he loved me, something that not most guys his age are willing to say to a sister in law. He was always willing and ready to help me when I needed him, even if it meant that he was dropping his projects that he really should have been working on. He was never too busy for kindness. Stan was very good at making me laugh, even at the most inappropriate times, like in the temple, during a prayer, during one of dads “sermons”, and in church. The only thing I would have to do was look at him and I would just laugh, and it was not just a laugh, it was always a gut laugh that was not easy to stop. I had so many good times with him just simply laughing. I have such a vivid memory of his tenderness with Hyrum when he was small. He would sit on the couch with him, and Hyrum would have his head resting on Stan's lap, and Stan would just rub the inside of his ear, something that Hyrum to this day still loves. I remember one day about 10 years ago when I passed Stan while driving. He was in his little Wonder Bread mini van, out making his deliveries, and I just waved at him, and he smiled and honked and was so happy in his nice “ride”. He was never too good for any job, he did whatever it took to support his family and make sure they were provided for, and he was always happy doing it. He was a true example of hard work. I remember when Stan bought a used bed from a guy downtown. He went to pick it up, and like usual, he stroke up a conversation with the old man and found out that this man was a veteran from WWII. Stan said that he felt impressed to thank the man for his military service and for what he did for our freedom that we enjoy. He said that the man started to cry and commented that Stan was the first person in all these years that had ever thanked him for that. To me, this is just another example of Stan being in tune and not being afraid to act upon what he felt. If Stan felt fear, he didn’t let it stop him. He was a man of courage and strength and you could just see that in him. To Stan there was never grey, it was black or white, wrong or right, and absolutely no in between. Stan was so proud of his boys and loved them so much. He was so proud of Carmen and loved her with all that he was. Anyone who knew him could easily see and feel the great love that he had for his family. I will always hold him, his memories, and his great example close to my heart, and will forever be grateful to have known him and to have shared so much with him. I will miss him more than I can express, but find comfort in knowing that he is in heaven laughing and smiling down on us. His memories will forever be a ray of sunshine in my life, even if a few tears are shed as they flood my mind. I love you Stan, and I am so glad that I know that you knew that. Hannie